For most of my life, I've always felt that nobody or nothing has been there for like TV has. Whenever I've needed a guide to understand my feelings or an escape from life, TV was there. TV raised me, is a friend, and adds so much color to my life. From beginning to end, Bojack Horseman has reminded me why I'm so enthusiastic about good, heartfelt TV. It’s not an exaggeration to say that this show saved my life. I wasn’t ready for the show to end, how it ended rounded out a masterpiece.
The series finale of Bojack left me really proud of everyone having an ending they deserve or one that made sense. They are more than characters, this is personal. I hate to admit it, but I always find myself rooting for Bojack probably because I understand him so much. I'm totally Diane. She was one of the few people that took the time to understand him and be there for him through everything, which ironically almost ruins her. Like Diane, I feel like I'm never enough and constantly self-sabotaging towards a greater purpose. Seeing a woman like that get the with the career of her dreams and someone to share it with gave me hope I can have the same.
I've been left speechless, in tears, and everything in between while watching this show. When relationships go awry, all you can hope is that you understand the other person enough to not hate them when it's over no matter how it ends. One overarching theme of Bojack Horseman confirms a thought I can't shake, I don't matter as much as I think I do. Nobody is out to get me. It's life, it's shit. My pain (and yours) isn't unique, thank God. Choosing yourself, being considerate of others, and seeing what's good is hard...but so is the alternative. Here are some important lessons from Bojack Horseman's final season:
Boundaries save relationships
Setting boundaries is difficult, especially when the relationship isn't used to having them at all. In the end, Bojack's friends are at the end of their rope with sacrificing their energy to figure out how to save him from himself. Princess Caroline stuck her neck out to save Bojack from a PR nightmare, and he was in the clear until he was cavalier enough to do the second part of the interview that destroyed him. Diane understood him better than anyone, but even after their relationship had a physical boundary his missteps were still a liability to her. Todd kept his distance from Bojack after he slept with his girlfriend a few seasons back, and the list of betrayals goes on.
All of these relationships were salvaged because boundaries were eventually established. At Princess Carolyn's wedding Bojack mentioned wanting to get back into acting when he got out of prison, Princess Carolyn says she can refer him to someone but doesn't offer her own services. On the rooftop, Diane reminds Bojack of the last voicemail he left her, essentially blaming her for not saving him from drowning. This was the first time they had spoken since the incident and it was probably for the best. Todd has always had a heart of gold, but I think he learned his lesson before everyone else. Sometimes you just have to protect yourself before you give someone the opportunity to hurt you again, it's difficult to trust the actions of people who think they've healed because you know how badly you've been affected.
Fresh starts don't exist
Yes, people can indeed confront you on old shit. We can't control anyone's healing but our own, but it's important that you don't expect people to hold your secrets. If you're lucky the people in your life will forgive you, but they won't forget. And even if they forgive you it'll take time and changed actions to truly make amends. Basically when you do something to someone make sure you mean it because you can't control what happens afterwards.
Bojack hid when he knew he was wrong. He knew he was wrong for the part he played in Sarah-Lynn's death, basically grooming her from a young age. He was also wrong for being a grown man getting high school kids drunk and almost sleeping with his friend's daughter. He was also in the wrong for...well, SO MANY THINGS. Just because Bojack tried to become a better person and saw the light doesn't mean people affected healed on the same timeline. A prime example is when Hollyhock found out what he did, she became distant. Penny had a panic attack when Bojack showed up at one of her college parties.There's so much healing, so much work to be done with everyone involved.
A little hope can change you for the better
Bojack keeps himself in trouble, but if it wasn't for him being hopeful of the future or at least scared to die he wouldn't have made it so far. We get to see Bojack blossom into his role as Professor and family man. Not only did his students worship him, but he found a way to make good with the craft that contributed to his downfall. As the screen faded to black after that nightmare of a dream sequence, Bojack realized that he didn't want to die yet right before it was almost too late. Diane called it, Bojack's spiral is his pattern and he has a tendency to take everyone down with him. Bojack's story ends on a humble note, but everything he's been through will have to leave a strong enough memory in his bones so he doesn't go back.
Please consider the 'The View from Halfway Down' before you jump
This video gives a great overview of the episode and all of its easter eggs! 'The View from Halfway Down' is Butterscotch/Secretariat's poem about how his perspective of life changed as soon as he jumped off the bridge to end his. I'll never be completely anti-suicide because it's a complex issue that boils down to compassion and letting people have autonomy over their bodies. When people want to harm themselves it's because for them it feels like their problems outweigh their resources, and I get that. I just started being genuinely curious about sticking around long enough to see how my story ends. If you're thinking about killing yourself, think again and again. There are so many resources and people going similar challenges, exhaust every option. Hoping you survive the fall is a beautiful conclusion to come to, but after you jump you have a lot less control of that.
Lakeith Stanfield would probably be a really good boyfriend IRL
Every few years people start fawning over this man again. He seems cool, but I just can't see him under my tiny umbrella of celebrity crushes ( Yes, Jerrod Carmichael still safe). I just LOVED how Guy was with Diane and the dynamics of their relationship. He supported her without pushing too hard in regards to her depression, nurtured their relationship while respecting her independence, and they are able to work together while respecting each other's differences. Love is showing up and supporting the people you care about in a healthy way, and I'm so glad we got to see that on the show. Princess Caroline showed up for Judah at his show, Diane hopped on a plane for Bojack's student showcase, Todd donated an organ to his mom even though she was distant, and those are just the recent examples. Show up for the people you care about, even if you don't understand their choices it costs nothing to be there for someone.
FUCK. THANK YOU BOJACK.
Comment below with any lessons that Bojack taught you that I missed! Like and share with someone who needs to be put on or already loves the show!