I’m about halfway through my year of healing, time really flies when you’re minding your own business! Sometime ago I realized moving forward is about making choices and taking responsibility for yourself. If you don’t like what you chose, choose something else. I didn't want to let go of my feelings at first, no matter how scattered they are. Right now I'm distracting myself with good things so it's bittersweet. When I look back in another 6 months I want to see that I was productive and focused.
6 months ago I didn't care about or feel anything. Today I’m starting my job as a personal stylist and it's crazy that I'm excited to be excited again. It's actually fun telling people what I do, but now I have to make sure I look the part. I wouldn't go to a hair stylist with a bad dye job, so I get it. My latest fear is that if this doesn't make me as happy as I want to be then I'll have to start over again. I’m still having a hard time trusting that what I’m working to build is going to last and is meant for me.
Not all change is bad and sometimes things have to fall apart to come back together again.
I made a promise to myself that I would travel more, I started the year off in North Carolina for a week. I have a couple more big trips planned and looking forward to making room for small ones during the summer as well. I'm finally jumping on my love of TV and started writing scripts to sell and hopefully cushion my portfolio. Things are looking up.
Being consistent with difficult things is hard, but nice because I’m genuinely interested in tomorrows again. No matter what shenanigans come in and out of my life, I’m committed to me. You have to know that feeling better is possible, doing better is possible, you just have to choose to. Choose moving forward especially when you can't see the steps in front of you is difficult, but you have have to trust that you can feel the right ones.
Comment below with steps that you're taking to choose yourself! Like and share with someone who could use encouragement towards a better direction.