Sometimes I wish I had a price. A certain amount that would make me happy. A number that if offered even under sketchy circumstances would give me...pause. Don't get me wrong, if someone offered me a couple racks I would definitely be happier, but it would be a band-aid on the stability I'm working towards. I haven't asked for a Christmas present in years because I don't really want things I can't afford on my own and in my mind having fewer presents under the tree will make the holidays go faster. I'm most anxious around the holidays because making sure everyone has the perfect gift and spending just the right amount of time with everyone is STRESSFUL. My parents are divorced so from a young age it's always been necessary for me to split myself, especially during the holidays. In my own selfish way bringing people together is what I love to do, that way I don't have to choose.
Normally I'd be working crazy long shifts in seasonal retail to occupy my mind, but I'm never going back to that so I'm dealing with the best way I can between working sometimes. For many people, this isn't the most wonderful time of the year so we do the best we can. Holidays have had an annoyingly complicated history for me, so I'm holding out for the future when I have traditions of my own that I enjoy and look forward to. I'm always appreciative of gifts received, but I love giving a lot more! It feels good that people want a hand in uplifting my spirits through gift-giving, but there are so many types of gifts you can give. Here are a few non material gifts that the people in your life deserve, but may not know how to ask for:
Invite Them In (or Out)
I'm not a social person so I can't be hard to find and make solid plans! I love a good house party, but I've also been to a clurb a time or two. Honestly, these days I'm afraid of being around people and my sadness being clockable. I'm constantly hyper analyzing and asking myself "Am I being fun enough?" , "Am I being to quiet?", "Am I wearing the right thing?", etc.
This year my friend Kendra invited me out and to a couple of Friendsgivings, and... I had a great time! It was fun to meet new people in a comfortable setting. I never felt like an outsider which made it easier to want to contribute to conversations. Knowing that I was welcome really helped to put me in a better mood and headspace this season!
Hand Write a Thoughtful Message
I'll be the first to admit that I can be so consumed with my life that I don't check in with my people as much as I should. I love giving personalized messages in cards for holidays, birthdays, etc. because store-bought and I want people to know how I feel about them in a well-thought-out way. Take some time to share the peaks and pits of your year, what your looking forward to in the next one, what you cherish about that relationship. Anything meaningful! Strong communication improves even the strongest relationships tenfold, never be afraid to let someone know how you feel!
Support A Craft or Business
Knowing a lot of creatives and finally releasing BWRY for myself I know how rare it can be for people closest to you to support your stuff, especially monetarily. Know someone is great at something? Promote and compliment them! Know someone that's looking to get a business off the ground? Hire them! Pay your own people them like you would pay a stranger, without the expectation of a discount. Support their passions because you know it's something they care about. Trust me, it takes a lot of energy to be dedicated to something people might not ever see.
Checking in!
You're probably reading this post on your phone, take a couple of seconds to ask someone how their day is or send them something that reminds you of them. I'm so tired of people being "sooo busy" when the truth is we all prioritize what's most important to us. I'm surprised with who I'm ending the year closest to, but ultimately I was open enough to let them be there for me. All the sharing I've done with my posts has helped bring comfort to people who feel alone, people knowing that I care about them is most important to me!
Comment below with a meaningful gift you received or gave! Like and share with someone who still has some shopping left to do :)
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