Aside from rewatching shows like Scrubs and The Game, I haven't really explored Hulu that much. Of its original content, I've only seen Four Weddings and A Funeral ( I'll write about it soon) , and now High Fidelity. Like most people, I saw Zoë Kravitz's face on my screen, heard that Da'Vine Joy Randolph was involved and just made the right decision. I didn't know if High Fidelity was a TV show or movie, I had no idea that it was a remake of a 2000 movie with Lisa Bonet, and I had really had no idea it was about stupid fucking beautiful love.
High Fidelity is a music (any entertainment, really) aficionados dream. The lists. THE LISTS. They debated songs and characters that I’ve loved forever. What I didn’t know, I cared enough to learn more about ( I follow Swamp Dogg on Spotify now, he’s black and AMAZING). The music controls the narrative so well, we experience the feelings surrounding the moment and when the song ends and we move on , or at least try to. I keep looking for my breakup in the graveyard the millions of others. Just one that I can hold on to and use to make sense of what happened. One that fast forwards my life 10 years from now where I know we'll be okay no matter what. There are so many heartbreaks in life, a romantic one was not my first, but it's the hardest, and it won't even be my last. Talk about a tough pill to swallow.
I LOVE when women have masculine names, I needed to like Rob immediately. And I almost did. This show is beautiful because you can tell the most about her from the people who are present for her. I can definitely relate to parts of her. BEING GORGEOUS. Wanting to spend the end of the world with someone you hardly talk to now. Learning to enjoy relationships for what they are because forever seems cloudy. Being selfish in relationships. Deciding if you're the one that gets left behind or the one that always stays and fights.
Why is it that romantic heartbreaks always involve betraying ourselves in someway? We either lose ourselves trying to prevent it or don’t believe it's the real thing this time and self sabotage. Rob confused every breakup as a heart break. She didn't truly know what heartbreak was until Mac, she felt a loss that she knows she contributed to. It's not the fact that she cheated, but the circumstances in which she cheated. She became distant, she did the one thing she knew would make him leave. Things not working out wasn't fate, it was her. Think about it:
Kevin Banister was her 7th grade boyfriend and she's still holding on to that hurt. If I'm being fair you never forget the first time you truly felt rejected or replaceable, but IT'S THE 7TH GRADE.
Simon is gay and is one of the most stable men in her life, their relationship has been the same in romance and friendship, that's love.
Kat Monroe is fake as hell and someone she wanted to impress, not be with. Kat doesn't see her.
Justin was dumped by Rob and she didn't even care enough to remember it. They got together sneaking around so you get what you get. He has a kid. Leave that man alone.
Rob asking her exes why things didn’t work out didn't give her any answers because she knew the truth. She broke her own heart, she just needed someone to blame. Hurt people don’t always hurt people, but people with narcissistic tendencies do. What was she really going to do with their answers? She already placed blame on the end of her relationships on fate or the person not being enough, but where does she take responsibility?
Anyway...
I’m excited to see what comes of the 9% chance Rob has with Clyde in season 2. As soon as Clyde knocked over his drink for Rob I knew he was too good for her. In the beginning it felt like Rob was taking advantage of him, as their connection grew it became obvious. Nobody deserves to be a painkiller until the person they like gets who they want. Liking someone shouldn't cost you respecting yourself.
High Fidelity helped me realized that I'll be okay eventually, life's a lesson if you let it teach you. That being said I understand why less self aware people want to attempt closure this way. It's all about perspective, what drives one person crazy might drive another crazy in love! If I could tell Rob anything it would be to take everything with a grain of salt, you're never as bad or as good as your exes say you are.
Comment below with your hope for High Fidelity season 2! Like and share with someone who knows that Simon's Top 5 Heartbreak list yanked at heartstrings in a way Rob's never could!