Updated: Aug 27, 2020
It feels like it's been a while since I've seen you, but every time I look in a mirror there you are. It’s the easiest and hardest part. What makes everything easier is knowing you'd be proud. Not just of me, but all of us. Little Herman and I are your wildest dreams. He’s finishing up his undergraduate years studying Psychology and I graduated studying everything under the sun. I'm actually nice to him now! We've been working on some projects together lately, I don't know what it is, but he's got it. You'd be proud.
It’s hard to accept that some of the best times of my life will be when I miss you the most. When I got my driver’s license you were the first person I wanted to call. I was older and it took me a couple of tries, but I did what I promised I would. Daddy and Little Herman still act like they don’t cook breakfast for themselves, but truthfully Ms. Irene and I never give them the chance to so I doubt that’ll ever change. I still can’t cook yet, but I can follow a recipe! Unsurprisingly, macaroni and cheese is the dish I took over for the holidays. I’ll be the first to admit it’s not YOUR macaroni and cheese, but it tastes really really good. Now all I have to do is learn how to make your oxtail stew, jalapeno cornbread, cabbage, spaghetti, and everything else you ever made to make Sunday dinner feel whole again.
It’s not just the food. What I loved the most about this shoot is how at home I felt in your clothes. You had it going on! I never felt a moment of something being yours or mine, it was... our style. So many people have influenced my style over the years and I'm happy to say you're one of them! Every button-down shirt, scarf, hat, and pair of earrings I watched you put on let me into parts of you we never had conversations about.
Our relationship transitioned in a perfect freeze-frame: Me taking care of you. I learned what it meant to have patience, be nurturing, and care for someone before myself the last few months you were here. I know how to take care of my parents because I saw how my dad took care of you.
Honestly, I thought when I got older I would have been embarrassed by the last questions I asked you before you left, at the time your first date and favorite ice cream flavor seemed important. The truth is it was, even then I wanted to remember you as more than my grandmother. I wanted to know every minuscule detail that ultimately became a woman of unwavering faith who watched reality tv and sports religiously, wrote everything down, and kept her opinion on ready. That’s the woman I fell in love with, and ultimately the woman I became. You’d be so proud.
Comment below with your favorite memory of your grandparents! Like and Share with someone who is missing a loved one that's passed on.