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A Letter to this Body I am Learning to Love

You and my self-esteem are finally catching up with each other, I have never felt so... at peace. Cheers to us! Thank you for never giving me any true challenges beyond the surface, I promise I'll stop taking you for granted. As we've gotten older I've learned to appreciate your evolution while understanding there's some stuff I might not ever like. I'm pretty sure I'll always hate the stretch marks, all of them. The only thing I hate more are the nicknames: tiger stripes, lightning bolts. Really?!? I know Kah'lil thought they were cute, which is the only reason I stopped obsessively searching the internet on how to get rid of them. You'll be glad to know I'm starting to enjoy my stomach pudge now, it feels like a squishy manifestation of love and happiness. Very...comfortable.

It's so weird, I'm hardly the same girl that hid in the corner the first time Kah'lil saw you naked (yes, that actually happened), but I still have a long way to go. I still don't consider myself sexy, at all. Like if I saw me walking down the street I wouldn't want to automatically fuck me. Maybe after a conversation or two. I'm really funny, then cool, then cute. I don't feel comfortable leading with how I look, and I'm not sure if I ever will be. I'm cute, but not cute enough to depend on everything for.

Back in the day, I felt sooo uncomfortable with you. Skinny, lanky, and flat as a board. Jeans always had a weird gaping at the knee and nothing was ever long enough! Learning how to dress you was a game changer. Confidence should come from the inside out, but when you look better I feel better. Instead of hiding my flaws I accentuate what I love. These leggsss, honey. I'm almost entirely sure we're worth the climb these days! Butt and boobs fit their frame perfectly...okay, there can always be more of both but I have to save up for that.

I'm not perfect. I easily see the beauty in others while simultaneously planning your improvements in the mirror. I'm sorry. Understanding and exploring you only makes room for more grace and more patience. When I'm on my period and need extra comfort you're getting a whole large supreme pizza TO YOURSELF, and that's okay. Another day I might be so busy that I forget to feed you at all and you know what? that's okay too. I'm doing the best I can, and I'll do even better when tomorrow probably comes! Learning to love you has been not only a choice, but a privilege. I have no idea what our future holds, but you're the only one that is guaranteed to stand with me through it all. I promise I'll stop taking you for granted. Thank you for everything.

What's your relationship like with your body? Anything you absolutely love or are still working to accept? Comment below and share this post with someone who has a body :)

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